Felicia Soleil's 5 Philosophies For Moving on After Divorce: #5 Fortitude

What do all my philosophies of Forgiving, Forgetting, Foregoing, and Foreseeing have in common?  What does your action plan absolutely require of you once you have unearthed your goals and desires? 

After practicing as a family law attorney and mediator for over 25 years, I’ve learned that major life transitions require this:  Fortitude!

Fortitude is revealed as calm courage, determination, strength of mind, and put more plainly, it is grit, pluck, and spunk. Anais Nin said, “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” I am also fond of the expression, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

Potential Problem Analysis

Not sure what you are made of?  Test yourself and you will be amazed.  Get comfortable with your discomfort, because without it you are not expanding.  Sometimes referred to as potential problem analysis, try to identify, in advance, what fears and challenges you think you will face as you embark on your new endeavor and think through possible solutions.

As part of this exercise, ask yourself, “What does it look like if I don’t at least try?”  It’s not just asking yourself what if you fail, but “What if I don’t even make the effort?”  Foresee not following through with your soul’s requests and imagine that feeling.  Now consider again, “What is it worth, in exchange for each remaining day of my life?”  Dig deep.  Move forward with the calm courage of fortitude that is within you. 

Here are some exercises and questions that can help:

  1. Describe what it would look and feel like if you don’t allow yourself to forgive, forget, forego, foresee, and move forward with fortitude.
  2. Describe what your life will look and feel like if you have honored your deepest values.
  3. Identify ways you can tap into your fortitude when meeting the challenges that will arise as you move forward. What has worked for you in the past? What new resources might now be available to help you?
  4. What lifts you up when you need it most? (HINT: a good dose of fortitude lies within).

You have it within you to create an intentional, value-driven life for yourself. See the possibilities!  If you are ready to move on, and not just move out, I can help.  Together we can reduce and resolve the conflict of your marriage dissolution.  Your new life awaits. If you are ready to move on, and not simply move out, give me a call.  Together, we will make a plan to devise your healthy future through and following divorce.  

Published on October 12, 2018