All I want this holiday season: The gift of peace
When choosing to separate and divorce, do you want to work together with the same planning and give-and-take you used when you created your union? Or, do you want to become adversaries, relying on egos and hard feelings to fight over limited resources and parenting? I give great credit to those who can get past their pride and situational conflict to envision the bigger picture--a redefined relationship with your individual dignity intact. It's the gift of peace.
Published on December 1, 2019.
"Merry" or "Miserable" this holiday season: A primer for divorcing parents
It is possible for divorced or separated parents to create a very merry holiday season. The key lies in letting go of established routines and creating a new plan that works for each of you. The time you invest into creating new traditions allows your kids to relax into the holidays rather than dread them?
Published on November 8, 2019.
A Separate Peace: How to begin to transition out of a marriage sensibly and peacefully
Divorce transitions can be made sensibly and peacefully. It is possible to build a strong foundation for your new life ahead.
Published on October 1, 2019.
Separate BUT Equal: Creating a successful co-parenting schedule after separation or divorce
I frequently ask divorcing parents: “Imagine you are each of your children living the proposed schedule. With success in school being the focus for the week, how does all the back and forth feel?" Sometimes, putting the parents in their children’s shoes is all it takes to resolve the issue of separate BUT equal.
Published on Sepember 4, 2019.
Generosity and Gratitude: The journey to healing can begin before your divorce is finalized
When couples opt for divorce mediation, as opposed to individual legal representation, they have made a decision to navigate the journey of disentangling their marital life together.
Published on August 1, 2019.
Promises, Promises: Reaching agreements in divorce mediation
A broken promise, or worse, a broken marriage vow, does NOT mean that the offending party is incapable of committing to divorce-related agreements in good faith.
Published on July 1, 2019.
Transformation Through Transition: Your divorce is more than a spreadsheet
Divorcing couples who want to move through this very difficult time with grace and dignity should be offered a process that transforms and honors their past (and future) relationship as they end their marriage.
Published on June 1, 2019.
Your Children's Divorce Experience: How to do it well
Some clients say they have postponed their own divorce because they were afraid of putting their children through that kind of turmoil. Of course, living in the same household with two parents in continual conflict is just exchanging one kind of childhood turmoil for another. Prior to figuring out the residential schedule and all the logistics that go with it, ask yourself: “How do I want our children to experience our divorce?”
Published on May 1, 2019.
The Divorce Quandry: Fact vs. Value based information
When couples begin negotiating the terms of their divorce, reaching agreement on the relevant information is key and distinguishing between “fact-based” information and “value-based” information is imperative.
Published on March 29, 2019.
The BIG 5: The most common FAQs on separation and divorce
After more than 25 years of practicing family law in Washington State, these five questions come up in my practice time and time again. The better informed you are as you plan your separation or divorce, the smoother and less costly your transition can be—both financially and in terms of your emotional well-being.
Published on March 7, 2019.